For the over-romanticization (which I totally agree with, by the way), you could have your characters point out all the COMPLETE AND UTTER WEIRDNESS of the Victorian era. Like, women in mourning had to wear mourning clothes for 27836289 years, while men in mourning only had to wear them for a year MAX. People fell in ‘love’ and got married on the grounds of ‘you’re attractive and we’ve talked like twice.’ They tried to talk to dead people and conjure spirits for fun as parlor tricks. Pretty much anything women did that didn’t include a) being pretty, b) not talking, c) doing whatever their husbands told them, or d) maintaining a perfect household was viewed as weak or outright insanity. They took hard drugs for literally everything, and Queen Victoria insisted on CHLOROFORM as a form of anesthesia during childbirth. (Which, to be fair, was mostly due a lack of understanding about pharmacology. But still weird.) People got sick a LOT, and disease/complications from disease were the leading causes of death. They made children perform the kind of labor that most adults today have never heard of, let alone done. Obsession with death was fashionable and widespread. This stuff writes itself; Victorians were NUTS, and illustrating the various and sundry examples of insanity could serve as a starting point for deromanticizing the era.
As far as white-washing goes, that’s easy. Give your main cast some well-rounded, fascinating PoCs, and have them contribute to the story in ways that give them the kind of gravity your plot needs.
Hope this helps.
P.S. Before anyone asks, I don’t actually hate the Victorians; a lot of what got invented and written and shaped by the era is excellent, and a mainstay of modern society. I admire them for that. But they were also weird as fuck in a lot of ways.